I think it is a characteristic of dreams that they be difficult to grasp. Tantalizing, sometimes close within reach, sometimes beyond comprehension. As such they make us continue reaching, chasing, striving and, sometimes, turning aside. Only for a short while. Only to prevent a broken heart or damaged body.
Confession: even though I knew there would be miles to run and meticulous daily management required to bring myself to a state of readiness to run 50 miles on October 2… I didn’t really think it would be all that difficult. I am no stranger to determination and hard-headed tenacity. I have no knowledge of how to quit – anything.
I. Am. Not. Quitting.
But the dream must be postponed for a little while.
I have said from the beginning that I don’t just want to do this. I want to do it well. I want to be proud of it. And so I will and so I will. But not this race.
In my last post I mentioned I was moving. Well, with one thing and another, I am still moving and will be until the end of August. The disruption to my training this process has been cannot be well conveyed. In short, running long distances has been the least of my worries.
Let’s not talk about the heat. As mentioned before in posts regarding winter running, I know there are those who run regardless of the weather. My hat is off to them.
So… I am actively regrouping my scattered focus and easing back into the swing of things with an entirely doable training schedule for this week. It’s my own creation and simply designed to remind my body of the discipline it once had.
Sometime this week I intend to find a few late summer and fall races to give myself some goals to check off and provide some of that motivation you all know I love. Yeah – the bling. The t-shirts and finisher’s medals. I confess, I have kept my race numbers and have even written dates and locations on them. 🙂
So… for now the dream of ultra running will remain a dream and, hopefully, mean all the more to me when I can finally reach out my sweaty hand and take it to my heart.